photo | katherine hook October 31, 2006
katherine
Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
Aaargh! I was clairvoyant enough to get some chocolate “coins” for trick or treaters, so she took the left over pieces of eight in a black bag to give to lucky shipmates. I told her not to get drunk and walk anyone’s plank.
photo | looka mawcy!
marcy
Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold diggah, but she ain’t messin’ wit no broke niggahs.
photo | andrea
andrea
Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
Here’s Andrea wearing the money suit I painted for a play costume years ago. She wanted to be Dollar Bill Jefferson, but I didn’t have a bald wig or a briefcase full of money. With the addition of the cowboy hat, inspiration struck and she became Texas gazillionaire J. Howard Marshall, Don Marshall’s distant cousin and late departed husband of Anna Nicole Smith.
the return of the no-neck monsters
I shot some video today for the class project, hanging my camera out the window while driving down Carrollton and other streets in Uptown, Broadmoor and Hollygrove. It’s to show the post-flood New Orleans, after our family of taxpayers returns to the city. I got a good mixture of fully-restored houses, restoration-in-progress houses, and a block with FEMA trailer after FEMA trailer. I have some old video that I shot the first time I came back to town, right before Hurricane Rita, that I can use to show the immediate aftermath. I also have some very depressing video that I shot in Lakeview just this past August. Parts of it look like the water went just down last week, and it still does to this day, incidently. These videos aren’t very professional-looking, and I’m driving the Exploder while filming, but they all look alike. Let’s just pretend it’s the avant-garde, low-budget, hand-held Sundance independent film look.
I decided to stay home tonight, reputation be damned. I’m feeling much better than last week, but why push it? I’m always thinking I should get out and meet people, but, let’s face it - has anyone ever met a man or woman who was truly sponge-worthy at a drunken New Orleans Hallowe’en party? I had fun giving out “chockit canny” to all the little kids in my neighborhood, which I haven’t done for several years. One little 17-month-old was dressed in the cutest little Dumbo the Elephant costume. He even had a little mouse in his hat. My new neighbors across the street had a kids’ Hallowe’en party, and I could hear their little excited chattering voices coming from the lawn. I gave out treats to lots of witches, fairies, kitty cats and devils, then I opened the door to find a little girl wearing what can only be described as a street-walker costume. Oh, well. Happy Hallowe’en!
Shannon had a wine dinner in Lafayette tonight and she needed a costume, so I washed out the witch costume I wore to Charlie’s party on Saturday and sent her off with the dress and the hat. I warned her that the slit goes all the way up to there, and showed her the picture of me in it, but she thought it would be OK. I guess one has to do what one has to do to sell wine. Heh Heh.
Later, I served as costume consultant to Katherine and her friends before they went to two parties and then downtown. I dug through my magic closet to find costume pieces and accessories and I applied false eyelashes. They looked so cute that I had to have photos, and now that I have photos, I have to put them on my blog!
Last year at this time, no one was home in New Orleans to trick or to treat. Well, some adults were here, but the town was completely empty of kids. You would have thought the Pied Piper had been through here and taken them all away, even when I got back in mid-December. Ernie has a very evocative post about this, and I think he’ll find, as I did, that the kids are back this year, and what a relief.
I spent Hallowe’en in Houston last year, where I skipped a now-legendary party thrown for all the law students by Curtis Harrington, one of Katherine’s friends and not at all the kind of law student I was ranting about the other day. I had even bought a costume at Frankel’s, an enormous costume warehouse where they pick you up in golf carts and drive you around. When it came down to it, though, I didn’t want to leave the freaky Overlook Hotel apartment building where we lived unless I could go to the French Quarter, so I stayed home.
I went to Rite Aid today to get some treats, and the lady in line in front of me was very excited to see how many kids would come to her house on this first Hallowe’en after they all got run out of town. I hadn’t really thought about it as a big deal until she said that. I saw kids everywhere after that, and when I got home I read Ernie’s post. How many cities have been completely emptied of children like that since we last had an epidemic of Plague? Maybe London during the Blitz? Baghdad is probably like that now. You really have to experience it to understand how it felt. It’s not like giving a party and no one shows up; it’s like there is no one to give a party for at all.
I have always been pretty focused on my own children and not all that interested other people’s kids. Now, I’m completely over the top about Jackson, and still don’t take that much interest in other people’s kids. I was talking to a young mother a few weeks ago, and she made me laugh because she said the same thing. Tonight, though, I have to say that I appreciate these parents who have brought their young children back to this city. I never gave it a thought before, but it was weird, lonely and creepy while the children were all in exile.
Welcome back, little no-neck monsters. And Happy Hallowe’en.
our precious bodily fluids
This morning I went to Qwest Lab across from Touro to get blood drawn for the thyroid testing. They are really good at it, the lab tech managed to prick my arm and draw the blood without inflicting any pain at all. The lobby was full of people who were there for employment-related drug testing. This is one of my biggest pet peeves.
It is amazing to me that American citizens have rolled over and allowed themselves to be stripped of their dignity like this. In order to get a minimum-wage job restocking shelves at Home Depot, it is necessary to urinate into a jar with a lab technician standing outside the stall listening. If you think about if for five minutes, you will see that this is an outrageous invasion of privacy, not to mention a waste of money and time. These people are guilty of nothing, and no one even suspects that they are. In fact, if you work for the government, it’s a violation of your constitutional protection from unreasonable searches. The government can’t search you without probable cause, but Home Depot can order you to pee in a jar any time they want.
I’m not saying that no employee should be drug-tested. It’s a matter of public safety to keep drug addicts from driving buses, flying airplanes or other jobs where the employee has other people’s lives in their hands. These people also make a hell of a lot more than minimum wage. I am also in favor of drug and alcohol testing when there has been an accident causing injury. But look at the problems with this. Drug testing does not tell anyone whether or not you are abusing alcohol every day. Drugs like cocaine and heroin leave a person’s system so quickly that they are rarely, if ever, detected by employment-related drug testing. So, these urine tests are good for nothing except detecting marijuana, which is the least intoxicating and debilitating substance of any of them. Let alone the fact that the testing is completely unreliable. It usually fails to detect substances, but it can just as easily be wrong the other way.
These tests also detect some prescription drugs in a person’s system, and this information is no one else’s business, not even Home Depot. If you test positive for barbiturates, suddenly you are having to tell some manager that you have to take sleeping pills to sleep at night. How on earth does this guy have any right to know about your private home life and the decisions you make with your doctor? If you tell them it’s none of their business, you can start looking for another job. Your prospective employers will call Home Depot for a reference, and then they know about it, too.
“Well, Dangerblond,” you might ask, “is Home Depot just supposed to hire a bunch of drug abusers and not do anything about it?”
Of course not. Drug addicts and alcoholics don’t usually make good workers. They come in late, they miss work a lot, they are not productive and their co-workers usually pick up on it right away. What’s wrong with firing them for cause? If the managers are doing their jobs, there should be a record of every infraction to back up the firing. This is assuming they actually go out and apply for a job and get through the interview without giving themselves away.
Many people have said that the phony “War on Drugs” is actually a War on Americans. The drug testing scam is a perfect example of what they are talking about. Since we’ve allowed ourselves to be routinely treated like criminals, an enormous industry has arisen to do just that. Drug testing companies are huge. They have a lot of power and they produce a lot of propaganda. They have managed to get urine testing ingrained into corporate culture by convincing insurance companies to make it a requirement for lower premiums. Was there a national crisis involving stoned grocery baggers eating up all the Doritos? No. It’s just a bunch of greedy people who are willing to demonize and dehumanize their fellow Americans to make a few bucks.
When will American workers put a stop to this humilating and soul-destroying treatment? When they tell you they want to pull some hair out of your head? When they demand a blood sample? When they put on rubber gloves and check the whole staffs’ rectums for contraband? I mean, if we are serious about keeping drugs out of the workplace, why should we stop at urine testing? These other methods are more reliable and harder to fake.
We have been brainwashed into thinking that any violation of our privacy or our constitutional and human rights is acceptable because we fear drugs and terrorism. How much will it take before people realize that if they aren’t doing anything wrong, and no one has any reason to suspect they are doing anything wrong, then they shouldn’t have to put up with urine-sniffing along with low wages, bullshit benefits and no chance in hell of a promotion.
involuntary abstinence October 30, 2006
I went to the endocrinologist today, but he didn’t have a miracle cure. He dismissed the idea that I’m peri-menopausal, but suspects thyroid problems. I have to get my blood tested and go back in two weeks. If my thyroid is normal, he thinks I should switch antidepressants. I think it’s a good idea to switch antidepressants periodically, anyway, because they are always inventing new ones. Of course, I would not be taking any of these brand new drugs if I ever intended to have another baby.
Speaking of that, he asked me what kind of birth control I use, and I said, “none.” He gave me a quizzical look, like he was wondering if I was a lesbian or if I just like playing with fire. I said, “well, actually I use abstinence. Involuntary abstinence.”
I feel better already, though, because I talked to my professors and they all said not to worry about anything. That’s the beauty of being in the middle of the pack - I’m not worried about blowing my perfect average, because I never had one. It reminded me of many years ago when a woman who worked for Don got really depressed over a man and attempted suicide. Her psychiatrist told him that the thing she was worried about most was losing her job because of it. Don told him to assure her that her job was secure, and she was so grateful to him for that. Don said, “can you imagine if I told her doctor to tell her not to worry about her job because she no longer has one?”
I am always worried about being kicked when I’m down, even though I work hard to surround myself with people who would never do that.
The doctor also said that he heard “clicks” when he listened to my heart. He said it could indicate mitral valve prolapse, which he said 20% of women eventually develop. He didn’t think it was anything serious, but Ha! Shannon Fristoe, you are not the only person around here with a heart condition!
I now have David and Michael calling flashlights “fishlights.” Heh Heh.
fishlight October 29, 2006
Whether the Saints win or not, it’s always a good day for Dangerblond when they have a home game because Jackson comes to town. We had lunch with Popi, pizza again, Jackson’s favorite food, but he also likes “hamboogers.” His little personality just cracks me up. He refuses to let me take his shoes off because he has put two and two together and realized that when they take his shoes off, it means it’s nap time. So, shoes on means no nap, right?
He has developed a little stutter because his mind is moving faster than his mouth, “I-I-I-I wanna bang nails!” He’s parrotting back everything anyone says to him.
Laurence said, “Jackson - Go Saints Go!”
“Go Saint Go!”
“Reggie Bush!”
“Wedgie Bush!”
“Drew Brees!”
“Do Bees!”
“Joe Horn!”
“Joe Warn!”
He came around the corner carrying my flashlight and said, “Grandma, fishlight!” Granted, I’m a dope, but I’m going to call it a fishlight from now on.
photo | charlie
Birthday Boo
Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
I’m so jealous of Charlie, his birthday is on Hallow ‘en so he always has an excuse to have a costume party. I also got a serious case of yard envy in his and Tess’ beautiful, well-tended garden. He’s a New Yorker who knows how to make Jambalaya, how ’bout dat?
photo | dollar bill
Dollar Bill
Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
I met Melanie at the party I went to on Saturday night. She was dressed up as our once and probably future congressman, Dollar Bill Jefferson. She was absolutely hilarious, saying things like, “what’s the matter with having cold cash lying around?” and “ya’ll gonna be sorry when you come down with kidney disease.”
photo | elvis and cardinal fang
Elvis and Cardinal Fang
Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
Costume consultant: Dangerblond
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