lakelawn-metairie cemetery March 31, 2008
101_5354
Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
Here is a nice photo of tombs in the cemetery. This cemetery is close to my house and I walk and ride my bike there sometimes. In the old section, there are some stunning tombs. About half the cemetery flooded, and you can still see some water marks. The old section did not flood because it’s atop Metairie Ridge.
tail light decal
Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
I never thought about it before, but you don’t need tail lights on a race car.
Here are more photos of the vehicle collection at nola.com.
bronze casket
101_5343Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
Many people would not want a lot of money spent on an expensive funeral and container for their mortal remains. Al Copeland was not one of those people. I got there very early, way before the mourners. I complimented the people from Lakelawn-Metairie cemetery, who had obviously gone all out. I said, ” I can’t see the tomb very well, but it looks very impressive.”
“That’s not a tomb. That’s a walk-in mausoleum.”
The headline on nola.com says “Copeland buried in Metairie.” No he wasn’t. I saw it. He was entombed. This is an obsessive-compulsive peeve I have about writing. Words have meanings, and “buried” is not what happens in a tomb.Â
Update: nola .com changed its headline. My work here is done.
funeral crashers
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Originally uploaded by dangerblond.
Georgina insisted that I take her to Al Copeland’s funeral.
“Georgina. Funeral crashing is tacky.’
“Oh, well I wouldn’t want to involve YOU in anything tacky.”
“You didn’t even know Al Copeland.”
“I LOVE that chicken from Popeye’s!”
“No.”
“But they have all the cars, motorcycles and boat on display.”
“OK. Let’s go.”
abstinence for the proletariat March 30, 2008
Go read Ernie the Attorney. He has a letter that Senator David Vitter signed in support of a $50 million grant for “abstinence education” for adolescents. Vitter believes that waiting until marriage to have sex and then remaining faithful afterwards is the best choice for health and happiness. If that’s true, then Vitter must be a very unhealthy, unhappy dude.
This must be another example of Republican “small government” and “keeping the government out of our lives.” Talk about unaccountability. What exactly is the method for demonstrating whether a government abstinence program is a success or a failure?
Like Ernie, I am completely bowled over by Vitter’s rank hypocrisy. In January, Vitter attached an amendment to the Indian Healthcare Improvement Act that prohibited the use of Indian Health Service funds for Native American women to obtain abortions.
I mean, if you were David Vitter, would you go out of your way to propose amendments and grants that have anything to do with sex or its consequences? What’s next? The David Vitter Elimination of Prostitution Act? Vitter has a strange notion of family values. Other people need to save it for marriage and remain faithful. Native American women should just keep their legs closed if they don’t want to chance an unwanted or personally devastating pregnancy. Meanwhile, Senator Vitter is gonna rock out with his cock out.
crime watching March 27, 2008
The Chicory alerts me to a blog I didn’t know about, NOcrimeline. It’s written by a French Quarter resident who has been publishing crime reports, along with “embellishment, spin, wisecracks, commentary and analysis,” from the 8th District.
Apparently, Maj. Eddie Hosli, commander of the 8th District, sends out e-mails of crime reports to anyone who wants to get on his mailing list. I commend him for providing this valuable service to people who live, work and visit in the downtown area. I wish all the district commanders would provide such a service.
Of course, I don’t need it. My neighborhood is crime-free. We will shoot you first and ask questions later, and they will never find the body.
dangerblond tv review
B turned me on to a great TV show, The Riches. It’s on FX Channel, but I can’t keep up with television schedules so I’ve been watching it on i-tunes. I think the first season is on DVD as well. Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver (using American accents) play the Molloys, parents of a family of “Travellers,” which I find out are an Irish branch of Gypsies.
The Molloys have three kids, all savvy con artists. In the pilot episode, Minnie Driver has just been released from prison and Eddie and the kids pick her up in the family’s RV. They first visit their violent, trashy extended family at their camp somewhere in Alabama, but then they have to make a run for it. Right away, they encounter another branch of the family, played by none other than New Orleanians Spud McConnell and Andrea Frankle, travelling around in their own beat up RV. Spud has some great lines and a great scene where he gets beaten up by the much shorter Eddie Izzard.
Spud and Andrea try to chase down the Molloys and they cause an accident that kills two “buffers,” or civilians. In the wreckage, Eddie Izzard finds the keys to a newly-bought McMansion in Baton Rouge, so the family decides to move there and take over the lives of the dead buffers, who are named the Riches.
Izzard and Driver are hilarious and the writing is usually very witty. Most of the story is about the family’s attempts to pass for middle class among their neighbors in the gated subdivision where they’ve landed. The neighbors turn out to be pretty twisted themselves. One guy has designed his house after “Herman Goering’s summer place.” The fabulous Margo Martindale plays Nina, pronounced “Ny-nah,” a sympathetic neighbor who is obsessed with sex. She cracks me up every time she opens her mouth.
The three kids in this show are incredible. Although Eddie Izzard plays it completely straight, the family’s youngest son likes to dress up in girl’s clothes. His parents and siblings take the cross-dressing in stride, but tease him when he insists on speaking French.
One of the funniest scenes is when the family, which has been living completely “off the grid,” has to get social security numbers for the children so they can go to school. They present themselves as a family of missionaries that has just returned from Indonesia. The children pretend not to speak English and start squabbling in gibberish. Minnie Driver shuts them all up by raising her hand and snapping, “Pad Thai!”
The show is not completely a comedy. The peculiar family has a serious side that reminds me of Six Feet Under. I hate the scenes that shift briefly back to the gypsy camp because they are full of misogynistic violence. I can only hope the story will bring those folks to a bad end, or at least an absurd one. Although it’s supposed to be Baton Rouge, there is nothing in the show that resembles Louisiana. The setting feels more like Florida. I’m hoping that Spud and Andrea will make another appearance.
bush’s war March 25, 2008
Besides me, Homan and Haney, is anyone else watching Bush’s War on Frontline? Part I was on last night and can be viewed online. Part II is on tonight, channel 12.
The whole thing is fascinating, but I was particularly struck by a couple of things. I was unaware of the saga of Colin Powell. It’s incredible to watch him get repeatedly sandbagged by Donald Rumsfeld, and then publicly sucker-punched by Jacques de Villepin, the French U.N. Ambassador. The struggle for who gets George W. Bush’s ear is worthy of ancient Rome, as Cheney and Rumsfeld outwit and outlast Powell and CIA director George Tenet.
I could have done without the ominous soundtrack, which repeatedly introduced the sound of emergency sirens. At first, I didn’t realize it was coming from the TV and I thought there was some sort of riot going on in Old Metairie.
Edit: I forgot to mention the surprising revelations by Gen. Tommy Franks’ second in command that he and Franks were apparently drunk the whole time they were planning the invasion of Iraq.
white people as a group
Glenn Greenwald writes in Salon about Instapunk’s desire for a “conversation about race.” Basically, a lot of racist right-wingers have decided that Barack Obama has a lot to answer for. As a black man, he is responsible for Rev. Jeremiah Wright, O.J. Simpson, Marion Barry, Alan Iverson, William Jefferson, Louis Farrakhan, Mike Tyson, Malcom X and every young black guy who goes around with his butt-crack showing.
Ever since I read that, I’ve been thinking that I have a lot of explaining to do as well. If we are going to have a conversation about race, then I and all white people have a lot to answer for. Allowing Jamie Lynn Spears to get pregnant is just the tip of the iceberg. How am I going to explain the following white people:
Michael Brown - White former director of FEMA. Don’t let the name fool you. This asshole was 100% white.
Timothy McVeigh - Killed 168 Americans to make some kind of point about the government. Whitey McWhiteboy. They don’t make them any whiter.
Cecil Jacobson - Butt-ugly fertility doctor who used his own sperm to impregnate patients without telling them. Big fat white guy, and a disgrace to all big fat white guys.
Robert R. Courtney - Kansas pharmacist who diluted cancer drugs in order to make more money from people who were dying. Whiter than lake-effect snow.
Spiro Agnew - Disgraced American vice president. I lie awake at night trying to think of a way to shift the blame for Spiro Agnew off myself and onto someone else. Since Agnew was a Greek-White-American, I think Adrastos should be the one who has to answer for him.
Roger Clemens - White baseball player who used anabolic steroids and human growth hormone to improve his performance in games. Probably was originally a black man, but used some kind of drug to make himself white. A blight on the reputations of medically-enhanced Americans.
John Hagee, Rod Parsley and Pat Robertson - White apocalyptic religious leaders who have stated that God is destroying America because Americans are such wicked people. I rack my white brain trying to think of an explanation for these guys. I admit it, I’m stumped.
Nick and Keith Baroni - White father and son from Kenner who defrauded the U.S. Navy out of almost $200,000 during a time of war. The white people of Kenner must be mortified. I know I am, and I live in Orleans Parish.
Senator Larry Craig - White guy with a wide stance from Idaho who is definitely, positively, absolutely not gay and has never been gay. All white Americans must explain him, except for white gay Americans.
Pauly Shore - Worst actor of any race, creed or ethnic origin in America. I don’t understand how white people can be allowed to vote or run for political office until we explain why this white man has a career in show business.
Ken Lay - White CEO of Enron. For some people, there is just no explanation. Maybe we could bring in some black people to help us explain him.
Benny Hinn - White oh, wait, he’s some sort of brown person. He’s their problem.
David Vitter, Eliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton - Three white guys who are easily explained. I mean, don’t make me draw you a picture.
Ann Coulter - White woman who sold books by claiming that 9-11 widows were enjoying their husbands’ horrific deaths in the World Trade Center. White men, don’t even think about putting the explanation for her off on we white women. If we have to explain Pat Buchanan and Rush Limbaugh, then you have to explain Coulter.
Sally Kern - White state legislator from Oklahoma who recently stated that homosexuals were trying to take over the United States, and that gay people are a worse threat to Americans than Al Qaeda. Since she’s from Oklahoma, maybe she can help us answer for Timothy McVeigh.
I could go on and on with this list of white people who are making me look bad. I’ve confined my Hall of Shame to Americans because, although I can’t deny their whiteness, I’m just not going to answer for white people like Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Franco and the Ceaucescus. Not until Barack Obama is made to answer for Idi Amin and Mobutu Sese Seko.
chicken 1 and chicken 2 March 24, 2008
I went to law school with one of Al Copeland’s relatives and we talked about Copeland having cancer a few months ago. How ironic that a restauranteur came down with a rare case of cancer of the salivary glands. At that time, I learned that Copeland was being treated at a hospital “out of state.” It didn’t sound good. Now it turns out that Copeland has died at 64. My thoughts are with his family.
Copeland was never my kind of guy, and I never ate at his restaurants except for Popeye’s. I’ll never forget my one encounter with him, though. Back around 1990, I worked in a printing company and we did some work for Popeye’s. One day, the boss loaded us up in the car and took us to the “chicken plant.” It wasn’t really the chicken plant, it was the place where they made the red beans and rice. I was very relieved not to see piles and piles of chicken. When we pulled up in front, there were two very large sparklingly-white automobiles with license plates reading “CHICKEN 1″ AND “CHICKEN 2″ parked outside the building.
Copeland greeted us, dressed in black and wearing Elvis-style sunglasses. He was quiet and business-like. He shook hands with all of us and then turned us over to the plant manager for our tour. The place was absolutely spotless. There was not a piece of dirt or a stain to be seen anywhere. All the workers were dressed in clean white uniforms, with plastic gloves and head coverings. The manager explained how they used tons of andouille sausage from some famous sausage place in Cajun country, and a secret blend of spices. I found it very comforting to know that they were so scrupulous about the preparation. Since then, my favorite fast food has been Popeye’s red beans and rice with corn on the cob and a biscuit.
My old employer, who has since passed away, became friends with Copeland and he was invited to the wedding with Luan and all the associated festivities. He loved coming into our office on the day after each function and carrying on about what Luan had been wearing. Now that I think about it, he seems to have had quite a thing for her. He would have loved the whole scandal of the bribing of Judge Bodenheimer.
The Picayune wrote a great obituary. Copeland’s rags-to-riches story, his extravagances and his flaws, including domestic abuse, are all covered. It’s funny to read the obituary of this flamboyant, ego-driven, over-the-top man and to come away thinking, “wow, Anne Rice is a real nut-cake.”
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