i love you your beauty, too July 3, 2010
My grandmother, Ruby, is having surgery on her hip later this month. In the mean time, she is in terrible, horrible, excruciating pain all the time. She’s taking tons of Percocet, but the pain endures and she just gets really loopy when she’s loaded.
Last night, she said, in her drug-induced haze, “I just love you so much. You’re my first-born grandchild, out of wedlock.”
“I thought my parents were married when I was born.”
“They were. Wha’d I say?”
“You said I was your first-born grandchild out of wedlock.”
“I meant in wedlock, or whatever it is.”
“OK, but, as far as you know, I was the first, in or out of wedlock, right?”
“Right!”
Tonight, I’m going out to dinner with my mom and step-dad. As is traditional in my family, I got dressed up, did my hair and make-up, and paraded dramatically in front of my grandmother to get her blessing on my outfit.
“Oh, darlin’ you look uhh gah ow! so beautiful. Oh, ow! Ouch!”
“Oh, Ruby! I can’t wait till the surgery. This excruciating pain of yours is keeping you from enjoying my beauty!”
“No it isn’t! I uuuuh love your beauty! Uh gaaaah owwww! I love it!”
