subpoena yourself October 9, 2007
I saw this on Prytania Waterline. What a joke. Ray Nagin is saying that Inspector General Robert Cerasoli can’t have his own lawyer. He says Cerasoli is bound by the city charter to use the city attorney’s office for his investigations into corruption at . . . City Hall. Well, wouldn’t that be convenient?
Since we are already deep into the world of absurdity, let’s just go all the way. It would save us taxpayers a lot of money if Cerasoli and the city would just use the same lawyer. Cerasoli could phone up the city attorney’s office and ask an attorney over there to prepare a records subpoena and serve it on himself. The attorney can spend a few hours going in and out of coffee shops ducking his own subpoena. Eventually, he’ll have to see himself in the mirror, and he’ll have to accept service.
Then, the attorney can read the subpoena and determine that he doesn’t want to comply. He can e-mail himself and tell himself that he doesn’t have any of the requested documents, or they were lost in the flood, or they are covered under attorney-client privilege, because he has a professional relationship with himself. Perhaps he can go to court and get an emergency order enjoining himself from turning over the documents to himself, subject to a gag order threatening him with contempt if he talks to himself. Then he can threaten to file a lawsuit against himself, or he can call up the FBI and drop a dime on himself.
When Jim Bernazzani comes over to City Hall to question him, the attorney can just bring himself to represent himself during the questioning. If he gets arrested, he has the right to call himself on the phone. If he goes to trial, he can represent himself in court, alternately getting on and off the witness stand to cross-examine himself. The judge can recuse herself due to whiplash from watching this fascinating one-man show. I know I would buy a ticket.
Of course, this would be a lot of fun, but it won’t get us any closer to finding out what has been going on at City Hall. Which is exactly why the mayor wants to do it.
- Posted in : main, new orleans
- Author : dangerblond
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